This sounds intriguing. Was that your full chapter one?

yes and here is chapter 2, 6 years from that CHAPTER 2 "chris get up your late for school "said chris' mom Kate. Chris frowned.He had a feeling his gym teacher mr underwood wasn't normal,sometimes it would look like he was a guy with legs that were furry.Also when one of the boys in the class brushed against him he would feeling cold.Anyways Chris put on one of his plain white t-shirts and left to meet his friend Nico on the subway."Dude you look pale"Chris said then quickly said sorry,"I've heard that a lot"said Nico and then they left for school on.the subway,they heard a familiar voice.Dylan.They immediately went to the front of the subway.Then they heard the voice they didn't want to hear.Dylan was a kid at school who liked to pick on the small kids and Chris was In his first Year of middle school.Dylan liked to tease Chris because of his dad,Who Chris never saw.Dylan walked over to Chris and Nico with 3 of his friends.Immediately,Dylan and his friends trapped them against the subway door.

OK, i think your story is creative and really cool!!! but you should make the chapters longer

okay im making longer chapters CHAPTER 4 "Hey half bloods"Dylan said right before he punched Chris in the stomach.Nico pulled out a sword and jabbed at Dylan's stomach,then Dylan turned into dust.But then the dust started to shift back into one."We should walk the rest of the way"Nico said.They got off at the next station and walked past the school."Where are we going,the school is that way"Chris said."We are going to a cmp safe for you and me.And then they saw a tree."that tree is called thalia's tree"said Nico and then Chris started to black out from the punch to his stomach.Then something started to come. "A fury"Nico said.ThenNico tossed him a watch."Hit the center"Nico cried.Chris hit the center and it changed into a sword.Then he slashed at its head.It turned to dust.Then he blacked out.

CHAPTER 5 When Chris woke up,Nico was pouring something into a cup.Then Nico came over and poured it into Chris' mouth.Chri felt his wounds healing.After it stopped.Nico went to go get some squares.Chris got up and ran out the door.When he got out.he saw people who looked sad.Then a boy with horns and furry legs came and asked for someone called Percy,when Chris said who is that then the boy said never mind.Then Chris got attacked hostage style with a bronze knife to his neck "wheres Percy" a girls voice said

CHAPTER 6 "Annabeth no he is a new camper I brought him here"screamed Nico.Chris then flipped the girl on his back,she was blonde with grey eyes and a orange shirt.Then he walked over to Nico and said "who the heck is percy".He was our camp leader and now Annabeth thinks your from the roman camp."Then a hispanic boy came and said "Annabeth we are almost done wth the Argo 2"then a hologram of the empire stae building came over Chris' head and Zues,Poseidon,and Hades came and said "He was made from all the gods mind he has the power of alls of the olympians."when they left Chris was released and able to choose the cabin he wanted to stay in.He chose to stay in the poseidon cabin.There he found two campers one was a boy and one was a girl the boy was tall and had one eye.the girl had sea green eyes,and black hair.I asked the campers their names.the boys name was Tyson and the girls name was Maria and then they said at the same time,"welcome to the Poseidon cabin"..

It's a good story but the chapters are way too short.You could add more detail,more explanation to the situation.

it's really cool, ^^and I agree with blacktemplar, though you did make them a bit longer, which is good

CHAPTER 7 After a week Chris was able to work on the Argo 2.In another week the Argo 2 was done and would sail to the roman camp in two weeks,meanwhile,Chris was working on hias swordfighting,powers,and archery.After one week it was time for capture the flag.Chris was put on the offensive line with Nico,the Stoll brothers,Piper,Leo,and Jason.After the stoll brothers ran for the flag.Chris thoughtnthat he might as well go to.After he got to Zues' fist,he saw Clarisse and Annabeth.He shadow traveled behind Annabeth,kicked her to the ground,and held his sword to her throat.Then Annabeth walked to prison.After he was done with Annabeth,he grabbed her shield.and hit Clarisse with it.Then he heard something whiz past him.arrows from a archer he thought.He threw the shield at one,sliced ones bow in half, then just pushed one onto the ground"don't get up or you lose your bow and your sword".Picking them up "that was to easy he thought.then he grabbed the flag a trap he thought as he felt something fall.Then a boulder flew past him signaling for campers to come"damn"he thought as he ran past campers.Then as he crossed the borders,a arrow hit him through a chink in the armor.The last thing he saw was Chiron putting him on his back and running to the big house.

CHAPTER 8 As soon as Chris woke up,Chiron put him on a ship."it is time to go to the roman camp" was all he said.Chris got up and started to explore the ship,he saw Piper crying"whats wrong Piper why are you crying"piper ignored him so he went to go find Jason.He found Jason at the kitchen,"dude why is Piper crying"chris said"bexause shes afraid i have a girlfriend at the other camp"Jason said then went to talk to Leo"huh"was all Chris thought.At the top of the ship Grover and Annabeth were talking.Chris decided to shdow travel behind a plant to hear what they were saying."grover waht if he isn't there,what if he doesn't remember us,what if he has another girlfriend.At that point Chris was ready to get out of his hiding spot.But then he fell into the water "aaaaaahhhhhh"was all he screamed beforre he hit the water.then he saw there faces "yeah now they turn around" Chris thought,then he willed the water to push him back on the ship.then he was being dogpiled with questions ;"where were you""how long were you there""did you see poseidon""what did you see"then he said no hi not even are you okay.Then he went to his room and went to sleep

Chapter 9 As soon as Chris got up,he went to go swordfight with Jason which he lost.After that he went to go talk with Nico.All Nico said was he wondered if the romans and greeks would unite or fight.Then Chris went to go for a swim in the sea,but when he went under,he found a man talking to a teenager.The man kept on saying"Percy thyre coming go see if you can remember anything and Percy kept on saying he would do it later.After a whil of them arguing,Chris deciced to break it up. when he got there Percy asked him who he was Chris just said "I'm the olympians mind child I have all the olympians powers.Then the man Chris now knew was Poseidon said Percy,Chris go they're nearly at the roman camp.Then Chris appeared in his bed and went to sleep

I think I make chris black out to much

CHAPTER 10 When they got to the roman camp,Annabeth ran and hugged Percy.Then a girl ran into the forest."Awkward"Chris thought.Then another girl ran to the forest to comfort her.Percy looked like he didn't know anyone except for Chris and the roman campers.When Chiron came out,he quickly walked over to a she-wolf and said "lupa nice to see you again these are my greek campers and those and those are your roman campers,can you tell them not to attack my campers.Then the she-wolf lupa said "romans back down"Then Percy and Jason walked over to each other and shook hands..Then Chiron called Chris and said "this is the olympians mind child of the prophecy" Then a girl that looked exactly like Chris came over and said"he is the greek olympian mind child i am the romans"Then the two girls from the forest came and went into a cabin.Then a girl with black hair and blue eyes came over to Jason and said "Jason who is this girl you are holding hands with."Then Jason said "she is my new girlfriend Reyna and her name is Piper."Then Reyna did something we sort of expected.

are my chapters longer and do i make chris black out to much

CHAPTER 11 Everyone was expecting Reyna,daughter of Mars to attack Piper.When Chiron and Lupa stepped in,Reyna just ook the fight to the creek when Jason and Percy stepped in,Reyna just sliced at them.Finally whe the two mind childs stepped in,Reyna got zapped,and soaked.Then Reyna got tooken away to a place where noone knows.Then Jason went over to the roman side,and Percy went over to the greeks.The next day Chris woke up in a place he thought he saw as a baby.Olympus.Right next to him was the other mind child,Jane.They walked over to the biggest palace.In there were all of the twelve olympians.Then they did something Chris and Jane did not expect.

CHAPTER 12 When the gods laughed at them,Chris and Jane's faces went red.Then what they did next surprised them even more. They threw a party.As soon as the party started,All the gods danced diferently,like they were hearing diferent music.Chris looked around and saw it the basketball court.He started to walk over to it and was stopped by,Jane???Jane asked if he wanted to dance and Chris just said alright.The music sounded like a no-touchy kind of song.After the party they ended up in New York.They bought tickets to San Fransisco When they got there Jane thanked Chris.when Chris went to sleep he saw the gods looking for him and Jane.he got out of bed and Irised messages the gods.When the gods saw him they started to yell at Chris.When he said he was at camp with all the other half-bloods ,then the gods left him alone.now I can sleep was all he thought

things are going very fast slow down a bit

CHAPTER 13 When Chris woke up he was in his cabin in New York and had no money.He got up and looked to see if anyone else was here.All he found were Tyson and Maria and they didn't have any money either.Then tyson found a note that said "you must go by land to get to th romans,on the way you must to battle the prison guard of ancient times,find one in the land without rain,free the king of the gods from the mountainandAnd the ghost king and queen to rejoin,to save the camp you must uncover a secret.Chris knew he looked puzzled and so did Maria and Tyson looked like he didn't care.Then Maria went to the big house,Tyson to the dining pavillion,and Chris to the arena?After a few minutes of practicing archery and swordfighting.Maria called them over and told them to get into the jeep and they left the camp,wondering if tey were going to see it again.

that prophecy sucked

i don't think they are going to sail to greece and the reason things went to fast was because Chris went to camp when they were nearly done with the ship and he blacked out twice so he missed a few days

CHAPTER 14 after they left,Chris wondered if anybody knew they were gone.He also wondered if he was going to die if he went to Greece.On the way they stopped at mcdonalds.They sat by a old man that looked familiar to Chris.Chris shook it off.When they were leaving Chris saw the old man walking towards him,"weird"Chris thought.When they were outside the old man started to grow then he started to look like he had six heads.Then the old man turned into a monster,"a hydra" Chris thought.Then the Hydra spat fire at him and Chris had know choice but to roll away.Then he ran to a car,hit the window and got a lighter and grabbed.Then he grabbed a big stck on the ground and lit it.when he looked back,he saw Maria knocked out and Tyson hitting the Hydra with a club.Chris then went and chopped off a Hydra head,then burned it.He did the same to all the other heads . Then he got into the Jeep eith Tyson carrying Maria and drove away.

chapter 15 when Jane got up,she took the wheel from Chris.Chris started to Tyson.While Jane only caught one word."Who"?Jane rolled her eyes,they weren't even talking about the quest.when they reached St Louis,the Jeep broke down.Chris told them to jump onto the next train.They found a train station.After on Tyson said he smelled monster,then he pointed to a woman that had knifes with poison.Tyson said that she was Kampe,guard of the for cyclopes and hundred-handed ones.Kampe started to pull out her knifes and walk over to them.The next thing they saw was a blade come down and Kampe disentegrate and Chris with his half bronze and half gold sword.Then they jumped out the back and saw they saw they were in New Mexico.